Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I'm a slooow learner

Imagine every intimate moment watched - every word recorded - every action tracked - situations manipulated and controlled - and if necessary, people potentially harmed.

Privacy and freedom gone forever. What would you do - and what if no one believed you at all?

Join me on this little excursion of - Is it really happening?


Please, PLEASE read this post:  '9-11: My Uncle's Death'.

Starting small, have a listen to these three messages. Am I rude and uncaring for not letting this person Dr. Ali know he's got the wrong number?

October 14
this is an audio post - click to play

October 18
this is an audio post - click to play

October 19
this is an audio post - click to play

(also see October 14 post)

Here's why I don't think these calls are real:

Call 1 - Caller leaves his number, and it registers in my call display.
Call 2 - He calls again, but leaves no number, and this time it's blocked/untraceable.
Call 3 - Calls urgently again (about medication, no less), yet leaves no number, it's an untraceable blocked call, and he asks this person 'Margaret' to page him.

Three calls, yet he hasn't bothered to check if the number he's dialing is correct - and my voicemail greeting is clearly for a residential number (music, cute message, etc), NOT an office.

Wait - it gets better!

Since 2001, I've received a number of long-distance phone calls and messages from different people and places, wanting a reply or needing some action carried out. (details to come) I used to call people back to let them know they had dialed incorrectly: Halifax, Victoria, California somewhere.... How foolish am I?

I've also received wrong number calls for at least 50 different people, (here is a sampling) businesses, hospitals, and institutions - from Pizza Pizza to Big Land Farm to Dr. Alcock. That's not counting the blocked calls, where the person stays silently on the phone or hangs up. I've had well over 200 strange calls in the past 3 years - often weekly, sometimes daily. My number is unlisted.  [1]

For days at a time, the moment I entered my apartment, the phone would literally ring and it'd be a blocked call, with no one speaking at the other end. I could often predicate crank/wrong number calls - even when I was out in public or at other people's homes. (More info to come.)

One time, I was squeezing blood from an infected cut and had a bloody cloth in front of me, when the phone rang: the man asked me for 'the Blood Works Department'.

[Edit: Another time, I got a call for a 'Mr. Ogulnicki'. The caller's tone was very disdainful. I happen to have a friend in the U.S. with a similar last name. He's been living 'outside the box' for decades and one of his main projects is providing an alternative herbal treatment for drug addiction, called Ibogaine, which he's trying to get legalized in the States. He's started socio-environmental projects in Costa Rica and Africa, including this organization: www.ICANrevolution.org.

My friend keeps a low profile, and even uses an alias, so no one could possibly know I was in touch with him, unless they wiretapped my phone or searched my apartment and saw my address book (and I only speak to my friend once every couple of years). There's only one Ogulnik listed in Canada, and he's in Montreal. 30/09/10]

I've had other 'phone coincidences'. To hear more calls, please use an anonymous browser (BeHidden.com, or MisterPrivacy.com), then paste this link [2a] [2b]:



[1] [Edit: In 10 years, I've never sent my number over the internet, and I only give it out to friends or organizations that require it legitimately. 30/09/10]

[2a] Unfortunately, my phone messages are humdrum compared to the strange or highly suspicious *live* conversations I have with actual people.

[2b] I accidentally deleted my whole folder of over 60 phone recordings. Urghh! They can be recovered, but it's difficult and costly.

Threatening Incidents?

Whenever harassment's been extra intense (hard to prove, except for my own erratic behaviour), the wrong-number calls tend to be about health. Eg, seeing doctors, arranging medical tests, calling for a hospital, etc.

And ain't it funny that when I became increasingly intense about seeking out political association and like minds (eg, Citizens' Inquiry into 9/11, Ward Churchill, bell hooks, Tooker Gomberg), I got deliberately hit on the head twice, by two complete strangers within six months (November 2003, March 2004). Both times, the people coolly observed me and did not apologize, even though I was clearly hurt.

Note: My head is a weak spot. I injured it in the past, developed migraines (had an EEG done in 1989 that indicated abnormal activity) and had sought out alternative treatments, even flying to Asia. I'd often tell people about this to explain why I have mental glitches. I also have ADD tendencies - really struggled in school, cannot organize my thoughts or prioritize tasks, I'm exceedingly forgetful, etc. People often doubt these things about me, too.

Anyway, in the first head-banging incident, I was kneeling on the ground, sobbing into a payphone over my mentally handicapped uncle's death. A tall, blonde guy came up to the adjoining phone, took the receiver and holding it, backhanded me with his knuckles to my head.

I was stunned - not only by his actions, but by his cold attitude toward me. I wasn't just crying - I was bawling, as I've never done before in my entire life. (Note: I felt responsible for my uncle's death; I had forewarned that he could be a target a year before, there were several anomalies (info to come) - long story. My uncle died 9th Nov 03 - that is, 9/11.) [1]

Stumbling to my feet, weeping, I asked this guy why he hit me. Him and his buddy stood there smiling and said, 'Oh, we thought you were a guy.'

Bizarre remark? Well, I'm an average female, but I happen to be bisexual and a bit tomboyish. Once I became thoroughly convinced that I was being surveilled and harassed, I also took on a tough guy attitude of hiding my emotions to show I'm not scared, while proactively seeking to expose the gov'ts seemingly illegal activities.

This guy clearly meant to hit me. Not just me being 'paranoid,' as people tell me repeatedly.

[1] Strange phone incident around my uncle's death

Mountains out of molehills? I can assure you I have a TON of incidents, but they are so subtle, convoluted, and numerous, I'm hard put to explain their relevance to people. Wish I had the benefit of a film crew on my side.

- This page is still being edited -

Holistic Health, Psychology, and Warfare

Brings me to another topic: holistic health. Having been interested in this subject before it became fashionable, my information sources and personal theories are pretty hodge-podge. Yet there is, perhaps, a consistent level of substance and truth.

Books like The Body Has Its Reasons by Therese Bertherat and The Healing Brain by Robert Ornstein and David Sobel, or my interest in Arrowsmith, a special Toronto school for people with learning disabilities, and so on, were ahead of their time. All of these and more put together offer unique insights into mind, body, human nature and personal development. Arrowsmith's founder discovered things about the human brain that not even the entire U.S. medical community knew about, until just recently.

If I am under surveillance and being studied, it's possible that my wide-ranging curiosities, combined with actual lived experiences, have been fruitful for the 'powers that be.' Though I strongly suspect they're using this information for far more nasty, destructive, or controlling means.

[Edit: One example of 'lived experiences' is that I've met various healers in Asia, who are able to perform healing using various methods, including energy, herbs, and so on. Twenty-some years ago, Chinese medicine was seen as quackery, yet today science is proving that Qigong, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), Thuna, and Acupuncture do work (if done or taught by a skilled practitioner) and that energy meridians do exist in the body. One guy could even read my mind.

I actually think mind-reading is more common among South Asian people and cultures. I noticed it various times in India. Not just Hollywood fiction. Why are we fascinated with shows like Medium, The Mentalist, and The Listener? In China, I was told, children with supernatural or extra-sensory gifts are taken away to secret schools by officials. I met one such man, while in Thailand. 30/09/10]

Social Diversity and Big Brother

All I know is group infiltration and social control are NOT difficult for the government, and it's multiplying quickly. Our intoxication with materialism and capitalism also means that concern for socio-environmental development, ethics, and personal accountability are sliding downhill - fast. Decency is OUT. With a little authoritative pressure and a few economic incentives, ordinary people can be co-opted as moles/operatives faster than you can say, 'Boo'.

The beauty of it is, the government seems to tell each person or group a different story, and stroke their egos big time, then pit them against one another. Clever imperialists.

Yet strategies are also changing; I believe new racial allegiances are being formed. Maybe they always existed? (more to come)

So why stay focused on me, studying me like a rat? Perhaps it's my emotional intensity and behaviour, plus the frequent social havoc I seem to create, that made me stand out. These have been like icing on the cake for Big Brother.

Allow me to contextualize:

North America is very multicultural. Divide and Conquer, plus maintaining social hierarchies, has always been important, yet it's becoming increasingly complicated.

In me, they found a political subversive, who wants to create change and build allies - yet instead, I continually affront people and polarize groups. Ahh, good trick. :)

Studying ethnic groups is of interest to the intelligence agencies. Get this: my family friend, whom I've known since early childhood, was invited to a job interview to do undercover surveillance work for the FBI here in Toronto, specifically because she's of Asian ancestry. She went to the U.S. Consulate and was there with 3 other people, 2 of whom were Toronto ex-cops. I recorded the voice message from the Consulate, because no one believed her.

During that time, my friend also had an acquaintance, whom I met, and he's an ex-U.S. army intelligence officer. His name is Jerry. Shortly after I butted heads with him about discrimination in the workplace strange incidents in my life increased.

About Me - Being Credible

How else have I been useful? Most activists in Canada have been on the radar a long time. I just dropped out of nowhere, I think. No credit card, no cellphone, was outside of Canada for several years. I'm also as critical as any grassroots, anti-oppression, left-wing activist, and yet, I've invariably worked for large organizations - Rogers, Ontario Hydro, Ministry of the Attorney General.

I also have overseas work experiences and a penchant for large-scale models for socio-environmental change - be it corporate or co-operative. In both the private and non-profit sectors, publications I co-ordinated went out to 26 countries in the Asia-Pacific region, for one org, and 27 countries worldwide, for another. I've always wanted to reach the widest audience possible.

I developed a marketing proposal for an airline that would have centralized and streamlined internal and external communications worldwide, affecting thousands of staff, 2 subsidiary companies, tens of thousands of travel agents, and millions of customers around the globe. When I got the distinct feeling that my apartment had video surveillance in September 2001, I tried to hide this proposal (scan to come). Three years later, I saw a similar flowchart for centralizing the U.S.'s 15 different intelligence agencies in Time Magazine.

The reality is, after 9/11 and the World Trade Centre attacks in 2001, and the ensuing "War on Terrorism," suddenly several years later a 'homegrown terrorist' was uncovered as a seeming part of the plot. That is, a Muslim man who was born and raised in the United States was now a radical, murdering terrorist. I have my doubts.

US slow to recognise homegrown terrorism, says report

And people, do your research about 9/11. Over 3,000 people died in WTC, yet the media never explores the govt's own failings, duplicity, cover-ups, and so on. At the most basic level, watch the Towers go down - they IMPLODED perfectly. No airplane could've done that.

No space here - will discuss later. (See Loose Change.)

(Note: If you don't think the government, police, CSIS, and the RCMP study and profile people, particularly non-conformists, activists, and others, you would be mistaken. Do your own research.)

Yes, there are many activists in the world to watch, but please understand that I was once threatened with a government investigation several years ago - not because of activism, but because they suspected me of trying to sell my passport (long story, and a stupid one). Signs of surveillance began shortly after. (details to come)

I believe I went from being a suspicious person to being a good case study rather quickly. I also believe they have discovered new and subtle ways for manipulating, controlling, or penetrating progressive organizations, community groups, listservs, and so on.

It's also worth mentioning that several of my relatives are 3rd and 4th-generation Chinese Canadians, who are fairly vocal and critical of the Canadian status quo. In fact, four of my relatives co-founded the Chinese-Canadian National Council in the late 70s, which was initially formed to protest media racism propagated by a W5 episode, in which native-born Chinese-Canadians were being portrayed as immigrants taking over Canadian university classrooms. The strong reaction became the first, and possibly only, time that Chinese-Canadians mobilized in a united front across the country (beside demanding the right to vote in Canada in the 1800s - ask my relative, he's written a book about the history of Chinese in Canada).

So the surveillance isn't just focused on me, but also my family and their social circles. To collectively study established Chinese-Canadians (who are themselves a significant/influential ethnic group in Canada) was, I believe, interesting to the authorities. One of my relatives is in the Canadian Who's Who, hobnobs with diplomats, is friends with several prominent Chinese-Canadian public figures and politicians, whom I'll refrain from naming, and so on.

So yeah, the issue goes deep.

So Who's The Bad Guy?

I now know that security bodies don't go around thinking about justice, national development, or even security, really. Their goal is simply to gain control. Theft, rapes, fires, murders, and wars are expected. What matters is being able to ultimately manipulate and control people, resources, events, and outcomes - usually to benefit the powerful elite.

eg, Let the World Trade Center go down, with approximately 3000 people dead, so we can launch counter-attacks on two countries and gain more control of oil resources.
(see http://cooperativeresearch.org)

War and domination (political, military, economic, social, or otherwise) isn't just about fear and violence - a lot is about psychology and the workings of the mind. Get inside the heads of activists, have many well-placed 'plants,' infiltrate en masse, and you're basically ahead of the game. The rest of the population are usually politically-shy conformists.

So, a key interest has always been mind control and breaking of spirit, along with biological warfare. Just consider the horrific, large-scale medical tests that were carried out in Germany during World War II, and the many other tortuous experiments that go on elsewhere in the world - including on present-day Iraqi prisoners of war.

Going Mental

Now, look at a positive, self-empowering institution, like Arrowsmith School (www.arrowsmithschool.org). Founder Barbara Arrowsmith Young provides an excellent, and previously unexplored, map of the mind through her extensive skill tests.

Arrowsmith Young struggled with learning disabilities all her life, yet managed to complete a Master's degree. She then used her various learning aids and tests to help children and youth overcome similar difficulties.

The Woman Who Fixed Her Own Brain - Reader's Digest, April 2002

Fascinating stuff! More articles at Arrowsmith School's web site.

Interestingly, I just noticed the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) is conducting a new Brain Scan study. I became instantly wary. Then, in the past two weeks, I've suddenly heard CAMH being called a 'hospital,' and the staff were referred to as 'scientists' - both times by people who have connections there. The Clark Institute will also be closing, apparently, with staff and facilities moving to 1001 Queen Street.

I sense CAMH's public profile may increase significantly. Remember, you heard it here first: Toronto's mental health work and research may be heading in new directions.

This may seem positive, yet behind the scenes, I wonder what the research information may be used for. Though I sound paranoid, I say this as someone who's not only witnessing CAMH's changes, but also has first-hand reasons to question their new direction.

And let me just say, Canada continues to be a supplier of goods and human resources for the purposes of war. We're all so comfy-cozy that we can gracefully ignore this fact, while maintaining our proud status as decent world citizens, who live in a peaceful, 'neutral' country.

Ah, you laugh now, but what amazes me is other people's denial. I get dismissed as being crazy, melodramatic, or worse...a conspiracy theorist. Yet just 60 years ago, hundreds of thousands (millions?) of people helped carry out the deadly genocidal wishes of one man.

Decent, everyday people can be convinced to do all sorts of awful things, and consider it normal and acceptable. Believe me, where race and power struggles are involved, there are no holds barred.

World War II raged across an entire continent. Things may seem genteel now, but the wars and terrorism being waged today are infinitely more subtle and complex. Current technologies are incredibly advanced; governments have the ability to make anything look real, natural, or accidental - or make it seem like the 'bad guy' did it. Even better.

A key problem is our own ignorance and complicity.

Do you care? You should. Funny how one of the things people treasure most receives the least attention or effort: freedom.

"The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear."

- Herbert Agar, Pulitzer Prize winner (History)

The Price of Power: America Since 1945
- Herbert Agar

It was good also to see this book by Herbert Agar: Saving Remnant: An Account of Jewish Survival Since 1914. (I find many people still don't openly acknowledge their Hebrew/Jewish ancestry, perhaps due to historical persecution through the millenia.)

So many different aspects of surveillance to discuss. It'll have to wait.

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