Friday, October 15, 2010

Zerzetsen - Exactly what I was experiencing

As the surveillance and harassment intensified, it felt like I was being tormented, with no proof - like sensory deprivation. I was a basketcase, at times. Interestingly, all of these things described by Roderick Russell below - even the helicopters, but not the shootings or crashed car - happened to me. 

Yet no one believed me. I live alone and did not have the benefit of witnesses. (There are some witnesses to minor incidents, but most dismiss these isolated anomalies as merely 'strange'. See this post.) I also do not communicate in a way that's believable. Throughout my life, people have tended to doubt me, despite my telling the truth or being correct in my speculation / suppositions / conclusions. I've often been right, but I don't present myself in a factual / rational / logical way, and so people dismiss me as a 'flighty female'.

Canada's Moral Dilemma: Torture in Canada
CSIS – Symptomatic of a crisis in our democracy
By Roderick Russell

What it is like to be a victim of zerzetsen?
As the wiki shows, zerzetsen is a combination of defamation and criminal threats – both different sides of the same zerzetsen coin. Its purpose is to poison every aspect of a person’s life.  [emphasis mine]

In my case it started with a professionally done defamation/slander job in Vancouver, Canada after I left Grosvenor International. Headhunters who once sought me out now avoided me. I applied for thousands of jobs, but to no avail. I had become unemployable. 

Then the threats started. Hundreds of telephone calls with no one on the other end of the line. Stalkers began to follow us around. We were under surveillance. Prowlers around the house. Telephones tapped; Mail interfered with. We feared for our lives; yet not one word was spoken. This is zerzetsen - It is designed to mirror the complaints a paranoid would make, except that I have plenty of witnesses to corroborate. The initial purpose of the threats was to stop me complaining about the slandering. [emphasis mine]

Read more at the link below...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Phone franticness

Okay, being organized isn't my strong point. Posting 'multimedia content' on this weblog will take some time, partly because I haven't figured out how to upload different sound and picture files. Also, keeping up with my constantly overflowing voicemail box is a full-time job in itself.

Plus, my phone line is dead right now, so I don't have internet access from home. Strangely, the line cut out Friday night, while I was having an unusual and interesting conversation with a friend. Bell Canada is coming Tuesday to do repairs.

[Edit: I was having notable problems with phone/internet/weblog connections over a two-day period, and I went to various lengths to access my weblog. I even asked some small stores if I could briefly try their internet. Then, I finally ended up at George Brown College and was able to get through - funnily enough. On this same day, I was to meet up with the friend (mentioned above), but it didn't happen, due to an unexpected 'emergency with the water mains' at this particular building. When we spoke by phone later on that day, my friend described someone they ended up meeting that day, 'who's just as paranoid as you' (ie, me). Everything described about this person was strikingly similar to my own situation of feeling under high threat and overwhelmingly oppressed, while wanting to challenge the system. The Ministry of the Attorney General was referred to several times. In my own case, I suspect government surveillance and corruption would be exposed on a large scale. This friend does *not* believe I'm being surveilled. As I feared, when the phone suddenly disconnected, they thought I had purposely hung up. I'll post a transcription of their subsequent phone message to me, shortly.]
I had called Bell on Thursday, April 7, to request a wiretap check on my line. The next day my phone service goes dead and a technician is not available until 4 days later. On Wednesday, April 6, I also had to clear up several incidents of overbilling on my account. Another time, I spoke to a Bell CSR and she suggested I add a feature. Throughout the conversation, I told her how important my voicemail box is, as I had saved over 20 messages there. The following day, my entire voicemail box was erased.

Uh, perhaps my discussions about digital monopolies and privacy concerns have ticked somebody off...?

My mother's phone line also had no dial tone, just two weeks ago. For three days, leading up to her birthday, she was unable to make phone calls, and likewise, nobody could call in. There are other anomalies around this whole event, which I may try to explain later.

[Edit: For a period of two years, when the harassment was most intense, there would be a variety of problems at my mom's place - from a broken front door lock (steel piece split right in half), to a vandalized shoe brush on the front porch, to dead car battery several times, to power failures, to plugged and overflowing toilet (my mother actually broke down and cried, which she is not prone to doing, simply because so many things seemed to be going wrong), to a stereo that would randomly come on - it has not done so since, to countless computer/internet difficulties, and so on. Why the toilet? During my first 5 years at my current apartment, I experienced blatant harassment from my landlords, and one 'problem' was a deliberately plugged toilet. I believe my surveillers were emboldened in their 'cat-and-mouse' tactics of wearing down one's resistance.]

Getting back to my own phone and internet challenges, last Wednesday to Friday were all very eventful days. For example, I had much difficulty accessing my weblog account with, and I even went out of my way to try posting from different places. Wonder if anyone else was having this same problem? There was no mention of it on Blogger's homepage, nor in their forums. My frantic attempts to post info were useless. I have screenshots of this unusual problem.

More details about phone connections and other communications adventures coming soon. As always, thanks for your patience in reading this piecemeal web journal.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Electronic surveillance of citizens is no joke

(I'm trying to get more organized, so posts may be sparse for the next while...)

Detailing my seeming surveillance and oppression is stressful and time-consuming. There are so many other issues and news events I'd rather be discussing. Unfortunately, the whole idea of governmental control, harassment, and privacy invasion seems so removed from people's daily lives that very few grasp how critical this subject really is - or how quickly it's all being implemented. So, while I'd love to move on to other topics, I still need to show how electronic surveillance is controlling and influencing all aspects of society, and thus, our collective futures.

Times have changed, and technology is key for the powers-that-be. During the overtly totalitarian regimes of Hitler's Nazi Germany and Mao's Cultural Revolution, much physical maintenance and broad co-operation from countless people were required. Yet, today, with the mere click of a button, a few individuals can spy on and control the lives of many, while creating an illusion of freedom and autonomy.

Information is Power

Internet and email provide a false sense of security and privacy. People's thoughts and actions tend to be more open and less guarded online. And yet, one's entire correspondence, activities, habits, interests, online pictures, contact info and address, financial status, spending, health records, and social networks may be tracked and recorded via digital means. Not to mention the subtle tactics that I've already suggested government operatives are using to sway public opinions with, both on and offline.[1]

The implications of technological eavesdropping are well summarized in this post, below. Based on my own experiences, and judging from articles I've read, some of these are realistic scenarios. Many such 'security measures' are already being introduced, unbeknownst to most:

August 17th, 2004, 09:56 PM
Re: Don't Fear Internet Anonymity Tools

Well why not have a camera put in your living room so the police can watch your every move? After all your not doing anything illegal, right? This has been a concept discussed by government and police.

While your at it why not allow insurance companies to put a GPS tracking unit on your vehicle, so everywhere you go can be tracked and recorded? For insurance purposes only of course.

Why not allow random strip searches, of women at airports? You don't have anything to hide, right? Why just limit them to airports?

And you could also just sit back and allow every product you buy to be tagged with tracking devices, like Walmart is now doing, along with other major retailers. Which are not shut off when you purchase their products.

Better yet, why not just sign an agreement with the government that states "I hereby agree to give up all my privacy rights to you, because i'm not doing anything wrong or illegal in any way and therefore don't require any privacy from you in any way."

I'll tell you why, because some of us still value their privacy and realize that no matter what you are doing, as long as it is not illegal in any way, it is no one else's damn business, that's why.

Some of us don't feel government has the right to collect information on us, without our knowing about it, and keeping those records indefinitely. Why should a government be allowed to collect information on our private lives under the guise of looking for terrorists or law breakers?

But with the new Victory act looming on the horizon it looks like many more of our freedoms will just be stripped away, again. As if the Patriot act was not enough. So just be prepared to kiss your privacy good bye if your not willing to fight for it. But given the 'who cares' attitude i've seen when it comes to privacy rights, i doubt it many will do much anyway. [Source.][2][3]

U.S. security measures must inevitably affect Canada:

'The wrong stuff: what it takes to be a TSA terror suspect' by John Lettice, The Register (April 7, 2004).

'Hoover's Long Shadow' by Earl Ofari Hutchinson, Pacific News Service (Nov. 25, 2003).

'News Gathering Is Illegal Under New Patriot Act II' by Alex Jones, (Nov. 20, 2004).

Interesting snippet from's (Electronic Privacy Information Center) 'USA Patriot Act' page:

* Petition Drive Launched to Protect Reader Privacy. The Campaign for Reader Privacy has been launched by booksellers, authors and librarians. The campaign, which urges concerned citizens to sign a petition to Congress, seeks to amend Section 215 of the PATRIOT Act to "restore the privacy of our bookstore and library records." (April 1, 2004)

National and global data-mining are taking place, without our explicit consent as citizens and consumers. This means all electronic records of our reading habits and personal interests, for example, are being collected en masse; such information can be used by Big Brother, in any way, and at any time.

For no lawful reason whatsoever, one may be thoroughly profiled just for expressing an opinion, subscribing to certain listservs, or simply receiving a random email from a whacko like me. More people than you care to know are climbing on the 'security' bandwagon (or just plain receiving kickbacks) to the point where one's pets may be harmed, or one's car may be tampered with, just as a subtle setback to you for being on the wrong side. (Actually, it's the 'right' side. But night is day, and day is night, where major power abuses are concerned.)

Also, by not signing the missile defence agreement, is Canada simply making a conspicuous and token gesture of independence?

The bottom line is: Canada and the U.S. are merging, and we're rapidly becoming an integral part of the U.S. military complex.


[1] See my various posts on media and moles (use search bar above).

[2] I've seen posts on listservs and in community forums that I suspect are not posted by 'real people,' eg, men conspicuously posing as women, activists who are moles, and so on. Okay, no big surprise. But while most may be genuine, random posts from unconnected folks just doing their thing, what if some aren't? Who's to say that psycho-social response testing isn't being perpetrated on an unsuspecting public? I have good reason to believe some email posts on listservs and in community forums are well-disguised efforts to mould public attitudes and responses, or influence group dynamics. Lists covering such disparate topics as environmentalism, web design, weblog creation, social activism, and so on, are all fair game.

[3] What is the Victory Act? (Unable to find brief summary.)

Also see:

- 'Victory Act would be no victory for public' by Charles Levendosky, Casper Star-Tribune (Aug. 26, 2003).

- 'Bigger Brother?' - (Aug. 23, 2003).

- 'Attorney General John Ashcroft’s Assault on Civil Liberties' - American Civil Liberties Union (Oct. 30, 2002).*

*(Please see the part about 'postal workers' halfway down. Updates on my constant mail delays and probable searches to come.)

[3] What is the Patriot Act? Also see's 'A Guide to the Patriot Act, Part 1.'

Both the Bush and Clinton administrations downplay any foreknowledge of plans to attack the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon. And, despite billions and trillions spent on defense funding - the U.S.'s number one budgetary expense - their aerospace defense (NORAD) and other military forces were completely unable to prevent, or even thwart, the four supposed plane crashes on September 11, 2001. Then, within six short weeks, a powerful and thorough 300-page legislative proposal, namely the Patriot Act, was quickly passed through the U.S. Congress, largely unread by their representatives.

Even just recently I saw an article (was it in Now Magazine or The Toronto Sun?) claiming that the U.S. is still culturally inept, in terms of countering terrorist efforts. Hmm. Considering the U.S. is the largest, richest, most powerful, best militarily equipped, multicultural country in the world, and given that the FBI and CIA probably have the most extensive intelligence operations worldwide, plus their powerful global surveillance technologies, connections within institutions, plants in academia, electronic access to all the critical thinking and graduate theses in the western world, and what they've learned more recently by studying me and observing my clumsy interactions with other social or environmental activists, etc, is it really likely that the U.S. is not up to speed in controlling different communities, cultures, or countries?

Big Brother has got the best enablers of all. They're employing people within various communities (eg, ethnic, activist, queer, etc) as their agents. Plus, they're playing up social pecking orders among different groups - be it based on cultural or regional differences, traditional animosities, religion, language, or what-have-you. Divide and conquer.

Anyway...(big sigh) if I'd been learning more about surveillance, skimming news articles, and watching TV back in 2003, or even 2001, as I'm doing now - instead of dealing with emotional issues, and randomly spouting my views and ideas - perhaps I might've been more circumspect. Now I can see exactly how much I've been feeding into Big Brother's plans, and boosting their ammunition, for the past few years. Ultimately, I have no one to blame but myself for not recognizing how impossible it is to change institutions, society, or basic human nature.

(more info to come)

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Militarizing OISE

My seemingly 'paranoid' concerns about Canada-U.S. relations, global politics, and the environment, are often confirmed by new developments, such as this one:

Protest Against Militarization of OISE (Ontario Institute for Studies in Education)

OISE/IKIT/UT intends to partner for the first time with the military and a corporate military contractor in a project that includes public schools. We have won a moratorium on this partnership right now, but it won’t last. We must make this partnership issue public. OISE/UT Administration have no intentions to stop its partnership with the military-industrial complex.


January 11, 2004 at 12 p.m.

In front of OISE – 252 Bloor Street West

Followed by the screening of the documentary
“The Space Program and the Military-Industrial Complex”
Organized by: People Against Militarization of OISE (PAMO)
Co-sponsors : Homes Not Bombs; Coalition Against War and Racism (CAWR); Students for Peace in Iraq, (S4PIRAQ) and Ontario Public Interest Research Group (OPIRG)

For more information, visit

Yes, folks, this is OISE, Ontario's and Canada's foremost school for research in education and teacher development.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Internet and Digital Monopolies

To help avoid a Microsoft-type giant in Bell Sympatico (and Telus, Primus, etc), people need to support alternative internet service providers and vigorously ensure companies are NOT compromising consumer privacy (eg, selling customer database information, illegal wiretapping, individual profiling).

In September 2004, I started looking for a more reliable (read trustworthy) internet service provider. I finally found one called Echo Online. But too late: I dawdled for two months, then found out a company called WinTel has bought them out.[1]

Echo Online was established in 1996; yet, I bet this rapid takeover was initiated after the sales rep and I discussed privacy concerns.

Digital technology and information power, yesiree. Conspiracy theories? Maybe. See Financial Post article on Bell's entry into ISPs.

[1] Read 'Considering the "Private" Citizen,' and learn more about WinTel. [Added Feb. 17/05]


More About Privacy Concerns:

See September 24 post, 'Miracles of telephony.' Privacy in Canada.

Discussion about Privacy Commissioner George Radwanski's resignation.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Questions about U.S. election

I can't help but wonder three things:

1) Why is no one questioning voting integrity and accuracy in the recent U.S. election?

2) Is confusion and apathy so widespread among people, both in the U.S. and worldwide?

3) Are there any independent media outlets left in the world?

Further questions to consider:

a) What kind of voting process requires one to disclose one's ethnicity and religion, among other things?

- How is this information gathered?

- Aren't people concerned about accuracy, methodology, and most of all, anonymity?

b) Has this kind of 'demographic' information ever been used or broadcasted in past elections?

c) Don't people realize electronic polls are made by large corporations who of course have vested interests (and often make sizable campaign donations)?

*PLEASE* read this wise article: 'To European Friends: Explaining the 2004 Election Disaster.'

Wake up, people. The whole world has been waiting to see the future direction of America and the world, based upon whom U.S. citizens elect for president. To subsequently track voting trends based on biological data is questionable and disturbing. (Key statistics I saw on TV focused on race, religion, gender.)

This kind of analysis divides people and creates a blame-game. Sounds like subtle scapegoating to me. This can also create perceptions of certain groups as being more progressive, sane, or saintly than others.

What we who live in supposedly free, democratic countries need is holistic change - NOT more pigeonholing.

Other things that stand out about the recent U.S. election:

People around the world know George W. Bush and the U.S. Republicans did not win by popular majority in the 2000 election. Suspicious tactics were used to help advance his cause in Florida - the deciding state. Bush's brother John 'Jeb' Bush is governor of Florida, and is known to have created unnecessary ballot hitches.

'Even the US Supreme Court, which awarded the presidency to George W. Bush, acknowledges [voters' rights were] violated [under] the Constitution,' reports The Nation in 'Another Florida Fiasco.' Examples: 'ATM-style voting machines couldn't be activated'; only Republican votes scanned properly in one county; hundreds of voters were turned away, and so on. A good percentage of people blocked from voting were African-Americans.

CBC News similarly points out:

[The Long Shadow of Jim Crow: Voter Intimidation and Suppression in America Today] report suggests 'subtle, cynical and creative tactics' to keep minorities – especially African-Americans – from voting have occurred in every election since the [Voting Rights Act] law was passed [in 1964].

'CBC News Indepth: US Election 2004', October 22, 2004.

All of this was accomplished when Bush hadn't even been elected president yet. Who's to say there wasn't ballot-fixing nation-wide now that Bush has been in power for four years, during which time, he's managed to launch two major [and profitable] wars and solidify the right-wing?

Is this too big for people to imagine? Considering the Florida case, there should be real doubts in people's minds about the accuracy of these recent U.S. election results.

Greg Palast, 'contributing editor to Harper's magazine, investigated the manipulation of the vote for BBC Television's Newsnight,' and talks about spoiled votes in 'Kerry Won' (November 4, 2004).

Without doing any research, I posted thoughts about internet voting here. Admittedly, my knowledge of U.S. elections is pretty sparse. Good thing recent searches confirm that my concerns about electronic voting are both valid and real.

To be clear, I'm not for or against anybody. I'm simply pro-democracy, pro-accountability, pro-integrity, and pro-freedom. So are a lot of other folks, yet somehow we have almost no say in government functioning or decisions. (Do I sound ridiculously naive here?)

Found this highly readable article, containing important information about manipulating ballots: 'Did Bush fix the elections?'

I can't resist quoting this:

The appearance of Osama bin Laden bang on cue was suspicious, to say the least.... Did Bush fix it?

I said the exact same thing about a rape and beating case of a woman coming out of (or walking near?) a gay bar in Toronto on the eve of Canada's federal election (June 30, 2004).

Sent a bunch of emails to people questioning U.S.-Canada relations, media, democracy, etc, and highlighted the lack of investigative journalism in this particular rape case. I suggested this event could have been either staged or deliberately perpetrated to sway both women and queer voters.

I just found this Globe and Mail article link about that incident. Strangely, the author's name is 'GAY ABBATE'.

What's also odd is that one cannot find any direct links to this news story via a Google search. Yet this was *Big News* on TV, the evening before the federal election.

I had similar concerns about the totally lopsided media coverage between the respective murders of Holly Jones and Cecilia Zhang. The lack of news in Holly Jones' case is unusual. And, sure enough, this disparity became a selling point for the New Conservatives appealing to voters outside of urban centres.

And WHY has there been so little news coverage about Holly Jones supposed murderer? Do you even remember his name?

Having reflected on my surveillance and harassment a great deal, I sense a larger agenda is at stake.

(Thoughts on Canada's federal election - June 2004.)

Monday, November 15, 2004

Threats to health

I've been spending more time with my mother over the past year. It's not a picture-perfect relationship, believe me. But I'm trying. And after nearly five years of running from therapist to therapist (enough to make one crazy and drive one's mother into destitution), I'm finally making some progress.

My gawd, the ego's one tough cookie.

I mention this because as I blog about the increasing harassment and threats, it may seem like I'm constantly with my mother. While it's true I'm hanging out with her more, it's also true that the anomalies she's experiencing are definitely on the rise.

(I've had the sense that my mother's becoming more of a target for awhile - August 22.)

It's ironic that people often assume I'm paranoid or that I don't believe in coincidences. I'm actually a big believer in serendipity, synchronicity, astrology, intuition, miracles, and a Divine Creator. In fact, I think my surveillers have benefitted from my interest in these areas, and from observing people's innate belief in, and acceptance of, 'chance' happenings. I think it's enhanced their ability to manipulate social situations, and and emboldened their efforts.

Anyway, here's another strange incident:

Saturday, October 30 - I had two bouts of really bad runs. The suddenness and severity made me think of food poisoning (in fact, I bagged, taped, and froze my dinner leftovers the next day). But what's strange is I noticed I had no pain, gas, or cramping. Believe me, I'm very familiar with my own digestion and elimination processes.

I didn't mention anything to my mother - neither the sickness, nor the lack of typical symptoms.

November 6 - A week later, both my mother and I end up having severe diarrhea. I again did not say anything to her. But towards evening, as we were talking about something or other, my mother says, 'I'm not feeling very well. I had diarrhea five times today.' Then she adds, 'It's strange - I didn't have any gas or cramps - just the diarrhea.'

(All these little moments are so important; unfortunately, I dropped my 17-year old Walkman a few months ago, trying to transfer phone recordings onto my computer.)

Now also consider the fact that I had frantically emailed a bunch of people in August (or September?) out of concern for my life, and I specifically mentioned Mozilla's new 'BioBar' as having potential for nasty uses. (Too long to explain what led me to this concern.)

Let's backtrack a bit further. Not only have I had constant problems in my apartment, but in February 2003, I had bought a used test tube from a second-hand store for making shooters. Two weeks after I got it, it somehow developed a gaping hole. Hadn't even used it. No glass shards or cracks - just a perfectly cut hole.

(The cut test tube now looks like a phallus, and when I showed somebody, they actually laughed and made a comment. It's also worth noting that I'm bisexual and androgynous, a tomboy as a child, and I've been extremely vocal about queer rights, plus having trans friends, etc.)

That summer, I had my trans friend over a couple of times to try out my drinks. One day, I was putting away my freshly cleaned glasses and noticed a thick layer of clear crystallized substance at the bottom of a shot glass. I should've kept a sample, but didn't.

You can see my concerns about personal safety (for self and others) began quite awhile ago.